Romantic comedies leave us feeling good…
…but relationships are complicated!
When we get into a relationship, the first few months are so exciting and fulfilling.
Knowing we may have found our person creates a chemical reaction in our brain. We develop an idealized view of that person. We fill in all the gaps of what we don’t know about the person with what we want the person to be.
As we get to know the person, we realize we’re in a relationship with an imperfect human.
That idealized view of the other person becomes shattered.
We must decide if their annoying habits, imperfections, and faults are something we’re able to live with.
This process occurs several times in a relationship as we continue to get to know our partner.
Sounds simple enough!!!
Except, we view the relationship through our own lens.
We attach meaning to our partner’s behavior and try to get our childhood wounds healed through our partner.
Unknowingly, we trigger our partners deepest fears and hurts. They do the same.
We find ourselves communicating harshly, confused and unfulfilled.
It seems you have the same fight, and here you are again.
Find a new perspective through Couples Counseling.
Couples counseling can help you understand your expectations and what you bring to the relationship.
Counseling can teach us ways to understand our needs, set boundaries and communicate what we need from our partner in a loving way.
Couples counseling requires you to look at yourself instead of blaming all the problems on your partner.
Problems in the relationship arise from two sources: you and your partner. Although, we have outside influences, you walk into couples counseling with the two of you.
For relationships to work, we must be willing to grow and change.
Relationships require we put the other person’s needs ahead of our own at times.
Counseling helps us know what needs are the most important and how to focus on those.
Couples counseling is not:
You and your partner sitting in a therapist office fighting with a referee.
A one-sided approach to the problem.
Something you do on your way to the appointment with the divorce attorney.
Does it work?
The couples who have the best chance of a fulfilling, long lasting partnership reach out before it’s too late.
If your house was on fire, you’d call 9-1-1 or the fire department, right? You wouldn’t wait until half of the house is engulfed in flames? Waiting to call the fire department, then expecting the firemen to save your house is unrealistic.
In the same way, going to couples counseling after you’ve developed long seeded resentment and contempt for one another decreases the chance that counseling will be effective.
Reach out for help before it gets worse.
Couples who get the most out of counseling show up ready to work.
You wouldn’t throw gasoline on a fire or wait until the fire department arrived to save your loved ones.
You’d do what you could to get your loved ones and pets to safety.
You can have a fulfilling relationship where your needs are met. It’s possible to set boundaries, resolve conflict and communicate well.
Reach out and call today so we can do this together. (512) 256-4929